on ‘letting go’

🌻 Sophie’s World 🌎

pic credit: quotling

Dear friends, if you follow my FB Page, you would have noticed that in the past few days, I have been posting about NPD, especially about Covert Narcissists. Note: In the DSM, there are no divisions, only one diagnostic classification for Narcissism: NPD – Narcissistic Personality Disorder. (There are 6 Personality Disorder and NPD is one of them; cluster B).

A good friend of mine just ended a relationship with a person who has NPD who is not in recovery.

As you know, I am all about fighting the stigma, but not all 🧠 /mental disorders are created equal; and a person who has NPD who is not aware (that she/he has NPD) and who is not in recovery (someone who has not accepted and worked on their brain disorder and still has the disordered behaviors that come with a PD), can be someone who is dangerous to be around. One medical professional who has a strong knowledge of NDP once said, “it is the secondhand smoking of mental health.

In my friend’s case, there are several disordered behavior patterns of her NPD close friend that are very toxic: invalidation, devaluation, and manipulation. And because this particular person is a covert narcissist, it was not obvious to her and the people around her that this particular person is toxic.

We all support her in her decision, and she’s glad and feel relieved that she made the decision; but yet, she still has to go through the grieving process of losing a close friend.

She told me that this statement expresses the way she’s feeling right now, “The thing that I had the most trouble with after ending the relationship, was the realization that I was mourning the loss of someone who never existed…”

It breaks my heart to hear it, and at this moment, all I can do is just to be there for her.


PS: sadly in many cases, the person who has NPD is not aware that she/he has it because as a Personality Disorder, many sufferers do not realize that it is a sickness (brain disorder), not your real personality; not “who you are”.