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Self care while helping a friend

pic credit: Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

This is a really good article on self-care if you care for a loved one with mental illness.

Please read the full article here: https://mindyourmind.ca/help/self-care-while-helping-friend

EXCERPTS: Taking care of yourself while helping a friend means recognizing that your own needs are also important. Supporting someone might require a lot of your time and energy and it can be easy to neglect your own self-care. Self care can be anything that helps to rebuild or sustain your emotional, physical, mental, social or spiritual balance.

1.  Find BALANCE:

The key is to try to strike a balance between your responsibilities, and those things that help to recharge and maintain our health (like exercising, connecting with friends, finishing that book you’re reading, etc.) If you’re so consumed with helping a friend that you’re neglecting other parts of your life, you’ll get tired and resentful.  

2.  Set BOUNDARIES:

This means establishing healthy limits, such as being able to tell someone when they are behaving in a way that you are struggling with or find upsetting. Knowing what your limits are, communicating them clearly, and knowing what is and isn’t acceptable are all part of defining and setting boundaries.

3.  Know what RESCUE vs. SUPPORT means:

As much as you might wish you could “fix” someone or “fix” things for them, you can’t do someone else’s emotional work for them. The thing to remember though – and this is the trickiest thing about caring for someone who is going through a hard time – is that your friend’s emotional state is beyond your control. Rescuing means over-helping and can actually take away from another person’s self-determination. It is not helpful and can create a dependency rather than a healthy relationship or a healthy way of dealing with mental illness.

4.  Remember your OWN NEEDS:

It can become easy to neglect your own needs while helping someone deal with mental health issues. You might even feel guilty for focusing on your own needs, thinking that your friend or family member is in a worse spot than you are. Or perhaps they are even making you feel guilty for it. Set boundaries and stick to them, and make room in your life to do things that are important to you.

5.  Remember that you’re NOT ALONE:

It can take more than one person to support someone going through a tough time. It’s not all up to you. Share the experience by reaching out to other friends, family members, teachers, guidance counsellors, family doctors or a counsellor/ therapist. Remember that if you are feeling overwhelmed, you can reach out and talk to someone. Even if your friend refuses to get help, you can still get support for yourself while being there for them.

Read more self-care tips here https://mindyourmind.ca/wellness/self-care-while-helping-friend

Stay healthy, stay safe, stay kind ❤️

🌻 Sophie

What to say when someone is suicidal

– an article by Julia Appa on Medium.

Suicide is a societal issue that is often swept under the rug. People pretend that it doesn’t exist while each year an enormous amount of people either commits suicide or attempts to end their lives.

Suicide can be prevented. It needs to be prevented.

This is why need to talk more about suicide and spread awareness about this issue. We need to learn how to talk to suicidal people so they won’t see suicide as their only way out.

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/what-to-say-when-someone-is-suicidal-c1f0f4a91b2a

A Knight

pic credit: Ben

I am a member of Chivalry Now, a non profit organization started by Dean Jacques.

Years ago, one of the members posted a poem that I really like. The poem above is an adaptation of the original poem posted on the group. I couldn’t find the information of the original writer, to whom I want to give credit to.

I have this poem printed and posted on my wall as a daily reminder for me.

Knights are imperfect,

But they have learned to NEVER GIVE UP.

They fall, yet they continue to climb.

Here’s to the Crazy Ones

Think Different

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

by Rob Siltanen

It may sounds crazy… but I do believe in this.

🌻 Sophie

SiDNEY SHELDON & Bipolar

“Sidney, you told me that you wanted to be a writer more than anything in the world.”

He suddenly had my attention. “That was yesterday.”

“What about tomorrow?”

I looked at him puzzled. “What?”

“You don’t know what can happen tomorrow. Life is like a novel, isn’t it? It’s filled with suspense. You have no idea what’s going to happen until you turn the page.”

“I know what’s going to happen. Nothing.”

“You don’t really know that, do you?” Everyday is a different page, Sidney, and they can be full of surprises. You’ll never know what’s next until you turn the page.”

I thought about that. He did have a point. Every tomorrow was like the next page of a novel. 

We turned the corner and walked down a deserted street.  “If you really want to commit suicide, Sidney, I understand. But I’d hate to see you close the book too soon and miss all the excitement that could happen to you on the next page — the page you’re going to write.”

Don’t close the book too soon… Was I closing it too soon? Something wonderful could happen tomorrow.  

Either my father was a superb salesman or I wasn’t fully committed to ending my life, because by the end of the next block, I had decided to postpone my plan.

Excerpt from “The Other Side of Me” by Sidney Sheldon

Sidney Sheldon was a very successful American writer and producer. He is consistently cited as one of the top ten best selling fiction writers of all time

NY Times reported, “Variety estimated Mr. Sheldon’s net worth, including his earnings from his film and television ventures, at $3 billion. Mr. Sheldon’s books have been published in 51 languages, making him, by many accounts, the most widely translated author in the world. “

What many don’t know is that Sidney Sheldon almost died of suicide at the age of 17, and was saved because his father (who was supposed to be away) forgot something and had to go back home.

Sidney has Bipolar.

Continue reading SiDNEY SHELDON & Bipolar