Imagine the most intense feeling you have ever had in your life. Maybe it’s the first time you fell in love, or the worst argument you have ever had with someone you love. The intensity with which you felt those emotions is probably equivalent to what a person with BPD feels on a regular basis. Now, multiply that feeling times ten and that is what a person with BPD considers intense emotion. That is what a fight with a loved one feels like, or how intensely they can feel love for a single person. The emotion can easily become unbearable, which is when the BPD takes control. Your mind, your body, are completely taken over and you end up doing something you regret deeply but have to live with. People will tell you that whatever you did was your fault, and you will believe it, but they don’t and can’t understand how hard you fought to keep control.
It can easily end up feeling hopeless and you feel helpless. There is nothing you can do to fix it. You believe you can’t get close to anyone because you will love them so much, and they will inevitably hurt you in one way or another, and you will overreact and do or say something that ensures they decide they can’t be around you. You are toxic. Your lack of emotional control leads you to damage your relationships, leading people to walk away from it, which exacerbates the abandonment issues that are a part of your disorder.
Disclaimer: Use this information for reference only. Please do no self diagnose. You must see a doctor or a mental health professional to get proper diagnosis.
DSM-5 CLASSIFICATION: PERSONALITY DISORDERS – CLUSTER B
Source: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). Click HERE to purchase.
NOTE: DSM IS AN INVALUABLE BOOK TO HAVE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND VARIOUS BRAIN DISORDERS. THIS POST IS AN EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK (DSM5). TO GET MORE INFORMATION ON ANY SPECIFIC BRAIN DISORDER, YOU CAN PURCHASE THIS BOOK OR FIND IT AT YOUR LOCAL LIBRARY. —
DSM-5 Note: Personality Disorder
A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Diagnostic Criteria 301.83 (F60.3)
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
In my opinion, BPD is one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood brain disorders out there. Because it is a Personality Disorder, even the person who suffers from it, often is not aware that he/she has it.
Toby Allen, an illustrator who decided to deal with explaining and conquering such mental illness types as depression, borderline personality, and anxiety disorder by recreating them as cute monsters drew BPD as the picture above.
I can’t agree more. I think BPD is one of the most challenging beasts to deal with.
Having said that, I also believe that it is NOT impossible to tame this beast. And in fact, when this beast is tamed, you can use its power and ability to your advantage.
I like to use the story of Newt and Zouwu as a metaphor.
In the movie “Fantastic Beasts 2”, Newt Scamander was facing Zouwu, a monstrously large feline beast, as big as an elephant, with a striped body, scraggly mane, four fangs that curl out of its mouth, long sharp claws, and a disproportionately long, ruffled multicolored tail. Zouwus are terrifying for most human beings, but they are incredibly powerful and fast, capable of travelling 1,000 miles in a day.
Zouwu is a powerful beast. When Newt first met him, Zouwu was wreaking havoc and scaring many people, seemed to be totally uncontrollable.Continue reading Borderline Personality Disorder – Taming the Beast
Common ground in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)–review of recent findings.
Click HERE for the original paper.
EXCERPTS FROM THE PAPER:
“… ADHD and BPD share some clinical features, particularly impulsivity and emotional instability. These disorders often co-occur. Patients with both diagnoses have more pronounced difficulties which are intertwined and often difficult to treat. In particular, impulsivity seems to be a severely impairing characteristic of patients suffering from both disorders. In BPD, impulsivity is primarily driven by affective and interpersonally sensitive aspects. In ADHD, deficits in attentional and cognitive processing account for behavior inhibition problems, referred to as impulsivity. …”Continue reading ADHD & BPD Cooccurrence
Note: You can read the original article HERE
EXCERPTS FROM THE ARTICLE
It’s a rigid way of perceiving things. It means someone always has to be “good” and another has to be “bad.”
Learning to Cope with Black-and-White Thinking
Sometimes when I get into this mode of perception, I’ll write down my distorted thought and rewrite a different way of perceiving the situation. Here are some examples of reimagining these beliefs in a new way.
“I hate you, I love you” can be instead: “I love you and sometimes you really frustrate me. I dislike your behavior right now, it’s hurtful to me. I can be frustrated and dislike what you’re doing but still love you.” There’s room for all of this.
“You are perfect I must be evil” becomes: “No one is perfect. No one is evil. I’m doing my best and so are you. We’re having a disagreement right now and that’s okay. No one is ‘bad’ here. We’re just not seeing eye to eye right now and that’s part of life.”
The Angel vs Devil Complex: This is really just a twist on all things, situations, and people as either all good (perfect) or all bad (evil). My therapist always reminds me: “No one is all good or all bad. There’s no such thing. You have good parts and bad parts; you’re a human being.”
NOTE: You can read the original article HERE
There are so many upsides of having Borderline PD. True, at times living with BPD can feel very debilitating, but a person with BPD must keep their perspective balanced and see the positive traits that they have. I always say that BPD is ‘Invalidated Sensitivity’. Having BPD means that you also have many great qualities. This article says it well.
EXCERPTS FROM THE ARTICLE
Here is a list on the upsides of BPD.
- Resilience – Many people with BPD have battled struggles with drug and alcohol addictions, self-harm, suicidal behaviour, and eating disorders. Many are survivors of trauma and therefore the ability to manage the emotional dysregulations on a daily basis is nothing short of being warriors.
- Empathy and compassion – People with BPD experience greater internal and external turmoil. However, this in turn allows for the ability to recognise and have greater insight for others in similar situations. Sharing stories of lived experience about emotional pain encourages others to open up and gives a sense of belonging and freedom from stigma. For instance, a study has shown that people with BPD are able to read facial expressions and emotions better than those without BPD.
- Curiosity – Being extra sensitive and connection emotions, senses and surroundings allows for greater curiosity in the minds of those with BPD.
- Bold – Impulsivity is a BPD trait that can be positively linked to being bold, courageous and having the ability to speak one’s mind.
- Creative – The high intensity of emotions can be released into creative endeavours. Many people with BPD put their entire emotional expression into music, art, performance and writing.
- Intuition – High sensitivity to surroundings learned from childhood means people with BPD are more aware of other people’s emotional states. Sometimes the intuition may be overwhelming but when managed, people with BPD can help others in distress rather than exacerbate the pain.
- Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love. When the emotions are managed, liveliness and wittiness become the dominant qualities.
- Protective – The care and intensity a person with BPD feels towards another person or situation may be translated into high aggression as a method of protecting others and the self.
- Hope – The negative symptoms of BPD are indeed manageable with a combination of psychotherapy, a support network and long-term commitment. This is worth fighting for each day!
To My Loved Ones:
I am writing this letter to help you understand what those of us with borderline personality disorder (BPD) go through. It is a severe mental illness, and yet describing it is often very difficult to put into words.
Studies have shown that people diagnosed with BPD actually have brains that differ from that of the general population. The part of our brain that deals with emotional responses is overactive, meaning that we are highly sensitive and our emotions are extremely intense and unstable. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that is responsible for reasoning and logic. It is this part of the brain that will stop people from behaving in a certain way due to consequences. In those of us with BPD, this part of our brain is underactive—meaning we are unable to think rationally and often act out without thinking of the consequences.
I feel this is important to tell you, as so many people are misinformed regarding this disorder, with a few questioning whether BPD is even a thing, due to the fact that you cannot “see” our mental health. If you were to see inside our brain, however, you would realize that BPD is there.Continue reading A Letter from A Loved One with BPD
A very honest and and vulnerable sharing from Shehrina Rooney in explaining how it is like to have Borderline PD